


Vinculis Meis

by latinsong



Category: Terra Nova (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Esteem Issues, Therapy, fluff probably, i feel like they glossed over the potential effect of prison on jim, probably, rewrite of my work on fanfiction dot net
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 02:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11118435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latinsong/pseuds/latinsong
Summary: Jim's stay in prison has had a deeper effect on him than he is willing to admit. His friends and family are concerned, but how can you save a drowning man when he wont acknowledge he's in trouble?





	Vinculis Meis

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I neither own nor in any way profit from writing fanfictions about it. Please don't sue.
> 
> I used to write Terra Nova fanfics on Fanfiction.net, and have tentatively decided to move some of my work to ao3. For some reason, I skipped over all the one-shots and went right for an un-finished multi-chapter fic. Yeah, I'm not sure what's wrong me, either. This was one of my favorites, though. I am both re-writing the first four chapters and attempting for bring this story to a finish. God help me.
> 
> See bottom of chapter for the chapter trigger warnings.

It isn't that Jim has a problem with getting dirty. This is helpful, because his day-to-day life in Terra Nova almost always leaves him with several layers of dirt, sweat, and sometimes blood on his person. Getting dirty is not the problem.

Being unclean can be bothersome. Jim remembers arriving in this bright, fresh world and knowing his griminess marked him as something Other. The sweat and dust and oil of his old life had clung to him like muddy water to a dog. No one wanted to be near _that_ kind of person, _that_ kind of person had no business in a hopeful, promising place like Terra Nova. But this probably wasn't an usual feeling among people.

The biggest problem though, the real problem, was getting clean afterwards.

There's no control over the feelings that swell inside him when he needs to shower. It's ridiculous, Jim knows, for a grown man to procrastinate bathing, but he finds himself doing so anyway until Elizabeth nudges him towards the bathroom with a gentle smile.

He's always a little surprised when the water is warm. Not because he lives in a household of five, though that proves a challenge at times, but because it's been two years since he last had a warm shower. Jim will not take a shower if the water is cold. He will not. Especially not if he's hurt anywhere and needs to run soap over a wound.

_It's cold and it stings until it burns but he's got to clean it –_

Jim wont pick up the soap when it falls from his hands, warm water or not. A dozen justifications race through his mind. What does it matter if there's soap on the floor of the shower? It's just soap, so long as it's somewhere in the shower it's fine. His back is too sore from fitness training to bend over and pick it up anyway.

Jim almost wants to cry, which makes him angry with himself, which makes him almost want to cry even more. This is his own private bathroom, in his own house, eighty-five million years in the past, and he can't stop feeling like this. He stares and stares at the soap.

A knock at the door startles him from his pensiveness.

“Jim, sweetheart, do you plan on leaving the rest of us any warm water?” Elisabeth asked through the door.

She's so close, just on the other side of the door, and so far away. Sometimes, when he was away, he would become afraid he was forgetting the details of her face and voice. But now he's home and with his family again. He can see them every day.

Jim clears his throat, careful not to waver because even after all this time Elisabeth can read him so well.

“Nope, sorry. It's all gone,” he answers smartly. The water is turned off and he's toweling himself down before he even finishes speaking.

Elisabeth laughs lightly.

“Alright, fine, take your time. I'll just wait...in our room.” she teases.

Jim has missed her so much he hasn't figured out how to stop missing her. He's had a taste of life without her and has vowed to never take her and their family for granted again. This time he knows there's always more to lose than you know.

Jim dresses in his night clothes and brushes his teeth in a hurry, desperately burying darker thoughts deep in his head. He'll deal with those later.

He checks on his children. Maddy is reading to Zoe; he kisses them each goodnight. Josh has fallen asleep with his music on, and Jim quietly turns it off. He makes sure the windows and doors are locked before going to bed.

Elisabeth smiles at him when he joins her in their room. He smiles back and falls into bed. They kiss slowly for awhile, before going to sleep.

The bar of soap is left on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Trigger Warnings: Implied Sexual Assault
> 
> Just want to say how thrilled I was to venture into the TN fandom on ao3 and discover this little fandom still gets a bit of attention even after all this time. Kudos to you guys.


End file.
